HAVE WE BEEN BRAINWASHED BY ROMANTIC COMEDIES?

I write this as a self-confessed hopeless romantic. The number of hours I have spent watching cheesy romantic comedies would shock you. When I was younger, a lot of my expectations for relationships were based on what I had seen in films. However, it wasn’t until I found myself rooting for the dysfunctional couple in Netflix’s You, that I realised I had unknowingly brainwashed myself. I recently re-watched a lot of the classics and noticed that some of the storylines I had previously loved, were flawed. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy the cheesy and light entertainment, but now I recognise the unrealistic and sometimes unhealthy plots that I ignorantly hadn’t noticed before.

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Drama drama drama

Something that I believed for a while was that people in relationships had to go through some kind of drama before they could just be happy. Of course, this stems from the number of on-screen couples that would be far too boring if there were no breaks, betrayals or games.

When I got together with now now-boyfriend, Charlie, we were just content. I worried that something was going to happen, but in the end I just accepted that isn’t necessarily how relationships work in real life.

Even though drama can be unhealthy, it is often romanticised in films. If rom-coms were set in real life, how could Carrie forgive Big for jilting her? Surely, that is too hard to move on from. Even though I myself rooted for them, their relationship was toxic.

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Long-distance relationships

Rom-coms taught me that long-distance relationships do not work. Ever. I saw so many storylines where this would lead to cheating or a couple growing apart. This terrified me when I had to live in a different city to Charlie and was convinced we were doomed. But then, years went by and we only grew stronger. Of course, living in different cities may not be as challenging as living in different countries, but even then, there are couples that make it work.

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Makeover time

Makeovers may not solve all of your problems, like films such as Princess Diaries, Miss Congeniality and She’s All That would lead you to believe, but they are still a guilty pleasure of mine. So, with that in mind, I couldn’t resist putting together a typically ‘romantic’ outfit. This stunning jumper ALWAYS receives compliments as the colour combination is dreamy. The bubblegum pink would make Elle Woods herself proud, because whoever said that orange is the new pink, is seriously disturbed, right? I really liked the idea of clashing this colour with green, so I paired it with my pleated silk skirt, which I also used in this blog post here, where I put together my perfect date night look.

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Does ‘happily ever after’ exist?

Of course, the cheesy ‘couple goals’ seen in movies are not reality but along the way I somehow forgot this. After being in a relationship for four years, I now recognise that it is completely normal to not be perfect all of the time, or at all. Everyone has there own problems, whether big or small.

Believe it or not, real relationships tend not to have musical numbers, kissing in the rain or ‘happily ever afters’, who’d have thought it? Of course, couples can be happy, but it is naïve to expect a relationship to be like this all of the time.

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BOOTS, JACKET – BOOHOO, SKIRT – TOPSHOP, JUMPER – SATURDAY BY MEGAN ELLABY, SUNGLASSES – PRIMARK

Romantic grand gestures

When you think about it, most grand gestures in films are actually quite creepy. I foolishly ‘awwed’ at scenes featuring an ‘eccentric’ guy doing something ridiculous in order to convince (or pressurise) a woman into forgiving or going out with them (Ted Mosby, I’m looking at you) and totally ignore ‘no means no’. As Otis says it perfectly in Sex Education: “Sometimes the people we like don’t like us back, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

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I may be slightly more cynical now than my younger self, but that is probably a good thing, as a lot of these on-screen relationships aren’t something to aspire to, or compare yourself to. Now when I watch You’ve Got Mail, I find it questionable that Joe basically ‘catfishes’ Kathleen, but she doesn’t mind. In My Best Friend’s Wedding, I no longer root for Julianne who is trying to brutally break up a happy couple. I also find it concerning that Josie ends up with her teacher in Never Been Kissed. I could literally go on and on.

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The genre is definitely flawed, which I can’t believe I didn’t originally notice. However, there is still hope as recent films such as Love Simon, La La Land and To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, brought a fresh take to romantic comedies. Hopefully upcoming films such as Isn’t it Romantic and What Men Want will continue to do this and save rom-coms for good.

If you also found yourself believing unrealistic rom-com storylines, or now have realised how weird some plots are, please let me know in the comments. I would love to know your thoughts (and that I’m not the only one).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DOES THE ‘DREAM JOB’ EXIST?

There are so many jobs that I previously looked at with rose tinted glasses and imagined they would be a dream come true, but the older I get, I realise this isn’t the case. I have worked multiple jobs that I thought would be amazing because of how they sounded but in reality, they were far from that, even though everybody always reacted as if I had hit the jackpot. All jobs come with negativity, even if you are a movie star, fashion blogger or any other job that I had previously romanticised. Even those that seem to be ‘living the dream’ will have bad days, have to deal with rude people, or find themselves in stressful situations. This unfortunately, is unavoidable. I don’t think there is such thing as a job that is 100% perfect, but this doesn’t have to mean that the dream job doesn’t exist, I think it just means that we have to lower our standards.

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If I had told my teenage self that I would one day work as a journalist, I would have imagined it to be really cool, interesting and impressive. Which is often how people reacted when I told them what I did for a living. But, despite how it sounded, In reality it was extremely stressful, demanding and grueling.

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When I began working from home as a freelance writer, I once had someone respond by saying, ‘wow, isn’t that the dream?’ Although, I had previously thought it would be, like every job, the negatives soon reared their ugly heads. It certainly wasn’t how I imagined it to be. This isn’t to say that both of these jobs didn’t have their good qualities, they just weren’t as rosy as I had expected them to be.

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JUMPER – NEW LOOK, SHOES – MARKS AND SPENCER, TROUSERS, COAT, HAT – TOPSHOP, BAG – PAUL’S BOUTIQUE, EARRINGS – ASOS

However, when I started a 9-5 job as a marketing writer, which allows me to have a much better quality of life, the response from people I speak to is much less enthusiastic. This a bog standard office job that is not really considered a dream job, but what does that mean? Why are the jobs that aren’t necessarily good for us deemed as being better?

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I honestly think the best that we can strive for is a job that makes us happiest, whether this is related to the pay, the environment, the people or the hours. And if you’re really lucky, a job that is connected to your personal interests and passions. However, it is important that we don’t expect jobs to be as fun as our hobbies, because we have to prepare for the responsibilities that come with this.

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At first, I found this realisation fairly depressing but now I understand that this doesn’t have to mean that you shouldn’t strive for what you consider to be the dream job. If you are realistic about what it entails and don’t have unachievable expectations then the easier it will be to feel content and stop comparing them to roles that aren’t necessarily any better.

CHEATING ON FASHION WITH FURNITURE

When I moved into my own home, I truly discovered my passion for interiors. I had quite a while to window shop and put together a homeware wish list, as it took me a little (a lot) longer to get on my feet and move out of my parents’ home than I had originally planned. However, when the time finally came around, I couldn’t wait to invest in furniture and accessories to make our flat feel like a home. Although moving in came with a lot of excitement, I was also faced with a lot of change, and I’m not just talking about living with a boy for the first time!

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Not only did I get more independence, which I love, but having my own home came with a lot more responsibility. I feel like I am now used to my life as an ‘adult’ but boy, did it take a while. Is it just me, or is cleaning never ending? I had no idea how much time and effort goes into looking after a home. With laundry, washing up, hoovering, mopping and everything else in between, it seems to take forever! It was definitely an adjustment after not pitching into chores as much as I should have done before [sorry mum!]. However, our flat is definitely worth the hassle as now we finally have our own little space.

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As we are renting our flat, we don’t have complete freedom to decorate as we please but we really wanted to invest in key furniture items that we could take with us to our forever home. So, we decided to invest in a brand spankin’ new sofa from John Lewis and a swanky rug, coffee table and TV stand from Wayfair. It felt like such an achievement, and very grown up indeed!

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I really believe that the space around you has so much impact on your mental well-being and positivity. With that in mind, we have splurged on some quirky candles, posters, plants, beautiful cushions, duvet covers and lots of other little details that make me feel so proud to live here. We’ve also finally gotten round to putting up some family photos, which make me feel happy every time I look at them.

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I think we have done a great job of giving the flat some extra character to make it feel like our home but it definitely isn’t complete yet. We still need a few extra furniture pieces here and there, more posters going up and a some oversized plants wouldn’t hurt either. However, I have a feeling this will take a while to get round to doing but I have learnt it is best to be patient and not rush anything. These things seem to take a long time and we want to get it right.

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