For a long time I only associated self-acceptance with accepting your physical appearance, rather than accepting everything about who you are. Although I’ve slowly come to terms with how I look, I’ve recently realised I’m often quite negative about parts of my personality. Although I want to grow and improve as a person, I really want to stop being so hard on myself. Instead of trying to change those traits, I want to just accept them. I’ve still got a while to go to but I’m making a start.
I’LL NEVER BE COOL
Since my days as a nerd in high school, I’ve felt self-conscious around ‘hipsters’ or former mean girls, and I immediately feel like I’ve been transported back to my teenage years.
I’m not quite as geeky as I used to be, but I’ll never be the ‘cool girl’ who spends her free time in clubs, wearing an array of vintage finds with a quirky hair do. I spend most of my free time watching old movies, baking cakes, reading and jamming to Taylor Swift songs. But I’m completely happy doing that, otherwise I would be spending my time differently.
Instead of making jokes about how ‘uncool’ I am, or how I act like a grandma, I want to just enjoy my time and not make myself feel like I should be someone I’m not, or doing something I wouldn’t enjoy.
I’M A SLOW LEARNER
Whenever I try and learn a new skill, I always feel insecure about how much longer it takes me. When I studied journalism, I found it so much harder than my class mates to study. Taking up a new physical activity usually takes me longer too (usually because my arms carry the same strength as spaghetti).
But, I’m beginning to understand that I just need to take things at my own pace and not compare myself to others who are at a different level to me. I want to make sure I’m in the right environment where I don’t feel pressured to move quicker than I’m capable of.
Even though it’s frustrating, having to take this extra bit of time has helped me find the determination to carry on and not quit, even when something’s hard.
BLAZER, EARRINGS – TOPSHOP, BOOTS – BOOHOO, JEANS – JOANIE CLOTHING, T-SHIRT – SATURDAY BY MEGAN ELLABY, BAG – SKINNY DIP
I’LL ALWAYS BE SOCIALLY AWKWARD
Even though I’ve gotten better since school, a part of me will always be socially awkward. Social anxiety just isn’t something that goes away. In turn, I’ll never be the person in the room that instantly makes friends or starts conversations with strangers. That just isn’t who I am. But, what’s so bad about that?
I want to stop pressuring myself into trying to be this person and just enjoy what I can bring to the table. I can find it hard in group situations, but I’m much better at one-to-one conversations. This means that when I do find friendships, they tend to have much tighter bonds.
I’M AN EMOTIONAL PERSON
In a stressful situation, my immediate reaction is usually to cry. It’s often the same if I’m angry or upset. I find this quite embarrassing but instead of just trying to hide this reaction, I want to find ways to cope with it better. I want to learn how to prepare for this emotional response and handle situations without breaking down.
I’m not really sure how to do this one yet, but I definitely want to find out. Although it has made me feel vulnerable, it helps me be understanding when somebody else reacts the same.
NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE ME
Like every single person on this planet, I won’t always be liked. I’ve always concerned myself with how others view me, whether they like me, or if my shyness comes across as being rude. Do they think I’m funny? Do they think I’m stupid? Do they like my clothes? But I’m slowly beginning to accept that no matter what I do, not everyone will like me.
All I can do is to be myself, and try my hardest to not wonder what people think (as easy as that is) because no matter what you do… you won’t always be someone’s cup of tea.
We all have weaknesses, which is absolutely fine because we all have strengths too. I want to learn how to accept my faults so that I can excel at what I’m good at. I urge you to do the same, I think you’ll find it quite freeing to take the pressure off of yourself to be something you’re not.